Madame Ophelia Ooglepuss

Many people, after hearing me render a song, ask in amazement where I took my
voice training.  I am most happy to tell.

A few years ago, when I was a young girl, I went to Paris. A famous vocal teacher heard me sing and immediately recommended that I join a ladies physical education class--to help spread my ribs, of course. I credit my pear shaped tones to the 50 pushups I did daily in my beloved student days. It just happens that I won the ladies decathalon in the Olympic games, but this of course was incidental to my vocal career.

I also spent three summer vacations on an Iowa farm, and aided in summoning the
livestock from the meadows. But this had nothing to do with my vocal development--
or did it?"