YOU'D BETTER watch out this Halloween. Wowie! Me and a bunch of the girls from Witch Normal are flying to New York for a class reunion. Never mind what year. We're all heading for that big antenna on top of the Empire State Building. Going to hold election of officers there. What fun! Just like a Miss America contest - only with witches.
Going to have a great time. You bet! Wowie! What a shindig! You'll know when the party starts. Ever notice those jagged lines across your picture tube? Always in the middle of a good program - never the commercials? You thought it was static. Interference? Lightning? X-ray machines? Sure you did. You were wrong. It was us. Me and the girls from Witch Normal. Having a party. Wowie!
We give it all we've got on Halloween. First there's the election of officers. They'll probably elect me sergeant-at-arms again. I've had the job ever since I graduated from Witch Normal. Never mind what year. After the election comes the party. Lots of doughnuts. Cider. Wowie! Then we start the fancy flying. You bet!
That's where I really shine. Not taking anything away from the other girls - they're real witches through and through - but I'm the television pioneer of our class. I had my jagged lines down pat even before Dr. Du Mont perfected the cathode ray tube and Dr. Zworykin got his image orthicon working. You bet!
Those jagged lines aren't easy. Fact is, that's how my hair got this way. You know - kind of a mess. It's a long story. I'll tell it. You bet!
Madame Ooglepuss always makes fun of my hair - like I said, it's a mess. (Just between us girls I'd rather have messy hair than none at all. Not that Madame Ooglepuss admits she doesn't have any. But why does she always wear wigs?) Well, anyway, back in the early days of television - never mind what year - most of the witches were thinking of other things. I was helping run a TV station in Chicago.
It was a poor station - in more ways than one - we couldn't afford a tower for the transmitting antenna. So I used to fly around holding the antenna in my teeth - I flew around and around and around. Wore out the motor gismo on my broomstick a hundred times. Didn't hother me none, I fixed it with my hairpins. That's what makes the jagged lines - those hairpins in the gismo. You bet!
But with the hairpins out my hair blew all over the place. Messed it up something fearful. Who cares? I had fun. That's living! So my hair's a mess. But at least it's my own! Wowie! And Fran likes it this way. She always says so - especially when I'm down in the dumps.
But I'll be out of the dumps - and over them - this Saturday night.
Oh boy! That's our night! Look for me on television. Watch those jagged
lines! And if your set blows up - that's me and the girls having areal
wing-ding. You bet! Wowie!